Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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