ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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