oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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