So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
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Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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