I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize