i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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