Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Life is so much better after having sex.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize