I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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