even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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