If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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