I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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