I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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