I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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