Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So many bounce houses so little time
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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