watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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