The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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