I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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