If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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