yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize