Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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