You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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