happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize