Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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