Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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