Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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