There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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