he wants to bone in the snuggie
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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