Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize