Dual....:-)
Barsexuality is the new black.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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