He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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