please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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