things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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