I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
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I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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