Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
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yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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