i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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