Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize