How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize