her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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