i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize