Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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