fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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