i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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