The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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