he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
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it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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