is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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