Sry I called you an 8
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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