I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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