why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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