it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
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Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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