I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize