Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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