They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize